Saturday, September 22, 2012

Break My Heart 1000 Times

Phoebe and Margi's favorite new book, which will be released officially October 16. PS: it's sooooo scary!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

All Colette Wants for Christmas is...

Merry merry merry Christmas, everyone! I found Colette's very zombie Christmas list! It's pretty weird. She's been naughty all year so I don't think Santa will be delivering:

*A set of electric traaaaains

*Bread made of whole graaaaains

*A pair of Great Daaaaaaaanes

*A box of candy caaaaaanes

*An umbrella to stay dry when it raaaaaains

*Aspirin to cure all her paaaaains

*Oxiclean to remove stubborn staaaaaains

*Drano to clear clogged draaaaains

*And of course, the thing a zombie like her needs the most, braaaaaaaains! Braaaaaaaains!

Hee Hee! She hates when I do that. Actually she wasn't naughty at all and so I bought her a scarf. A pink scarf and maybe she will let me borrow it.

And what did You get from the jolly old elf this year?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011

TV with Margi V

Watching television the other day with Colette because we are mad for Christmas specials. Rudolph, Frosty, Mr. Heat Miser, Abominable, and all of the other horrific Yuletide creatures. We were watching some festive show or other when, during a commercial break, we saw an advertisement for a video game filled with murder and face punching. Maybe there was a little mayhem, too. I don't really remember. Then there was another commercial for yet another video game.

This one was called Zombie Summer Camp.

The basic premise, or so I gathered, was that you are a ten year old kid named Jimmy who is sent away to Camp Attawaugan for summer vacation, and sometime during your first night away from home zombies invade the camp and start eating all the kids, some of whom return from the dead and try to eat you.

Onscreen we watched as Little Jimmy rammed a skewer with a flaming marshmallow on the end through the chest of an attacking zombie, driving the rotter back into the campfire.

I was about to make comment condemning the game when I realized that Colette was making that snorty snuffling noise that meant she was laughing.

"You think this is funny?

On screen, Jimmy was fending off three zombie cub scouts with a canoe paddle.

"Yes," she said. ""

In the last sequence, Jimmy whipped a live squirrel at a dead camp counselor. We both started laughing then.

"Popeye...loves...this game," she said.

"Get out."

"Seriously. His the...tent...spikes."

"He kills zombies? In the game?"

"He says"

I giggled some more.

"That Popeye is a weird kid," I said.

Anyway, I thought those were strange commercials to run during children's holiday shows.

"I wonder...what's on...ABC Family?" Colette said.

I changed the channel.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Wow! Look at the Wall!

Since I've been away, we've had our three thousandth member join the Wall! OMZ! Trads, zombies, and I think one werewolf!

In other news, by using a very complex mathematical formula, I have determined that incidents of bullying the undead are down 17.63% percent at Oakvale High (if you would like a copy of my highly scientificalogical study you can post a request here). Differently biotic kids are becoming much more active--no wait that doesn't sound right--they are becoming much more animated--no wait that's not right, either--they are becoming much more involved in school activities. There are a few zombies in the upcoming school play, The Crucible, there is a zombie on the wrestling team, and my pal Melissa (also a zombie) has joined the yearbook committee. Zombies everywhere! And still more coming to the school all the time.

Colette is back at school, did I mention? We already had an adventure! With Phoebe!

Are zombies attending your school? How is that going? What sorts of activities are they doing there?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Zombies Are Good at Stuff

Zombies really don't get the credit that they deserve, I have noticed. In fact, i would go so far as to say that there are many, many, many things that zombies do than he differently biotic. When I was helping the newlydead students get used to going to our school, I was often impressed at their hidden undead skill sets. Here is a short (and partial) list of things that I noticed that zombies are way better than us at:

*Sitting still (very, very still)

*Looking like they are paying attention

*Not talking in class

*Not taking unnecessary bathroom breaks

*Waiting patiently in line

*Keeping their hands to themselves

*Not running in the hallways

That's all for me right now. Can you think of any other ways that zombies distinguish themselves at your school? If so, post a comment! And don't forget to sign up on the Wall!