All Colette Wants for Christmas is...

Merry merry merry Christmas, everyone! I found Colette's very zombie Christmas list! It's pretty weird. She's been naughty all year so I don't think Santa will be delivering:

*A set of electric traaaaains

*Bread made of whole graaaaains

*A pair of Great Daaaaaaaanes

*A box of candy caaaaaanes

*An umbrella to stay dry when it raaaaaains

*Aspirin to cure all her paaaaains

*Oxiclean to remove stubborn staaaaaains

*Drano to clear clogged draaaaains

*And of course, the thing a zombie like her needs the most, braaaaaaaains! Braaaaaaaains!

Hee Hee! She hates when I do that. Actually she wasn't naughty at all and so I bought her a scarf. A pink scarf and maybe she will let me borrow it.

And what did You get from the jolly old elf this year?

Stitches!

TV with Margi V

Watching television the other day with Colette because we are mad for Christmas specials. Rudolph, Frosty, Mr. Heat Miser, Abominable, and all of the other horrific Yuletide creatures. We were watching some festive show or other when, during a commercial break, we saw an advertisement for a video game filled with murder and face punching. Maybe there was a little mayhem, too. I don't really remember. Then there was another commercial for yet another video game.

This one was called Zombie Summer Camp.

The basic premise, or so I gathered, was that you are a ten year old kid named Jimmy who is sent away to Camp Attawaugan for summer vacation, and sometime during your first night away from home zombies invade the camp and start eating all the kids, some of whom return from the dead and try to eat you.

Onscreen we watched as Little Jimmy rammed a skewer with a flaming marshmallow on the end through the chest of an attacking zombie, driving the rotter back into the campfire.

I was about to make comment condemning the game when I realized that Colette was making that snorty snuffling noise that meant she was laughing.

"You think this is funny?

On screen, Jimmy was fending off three zombie cub scouts with a canoe paddle.

"Yes," she said. "I...do."

In the last sequence, Jimmy whipped a live squirrel at a dead camp counselor. We both started laughing then.

"Popeye...loves...this game," she said.

"Get out."

"Seriously. His favorite...weapon...is the...tent...spikes."

"He kills zombies? In the game?"

"He says it...is...cathartic."

I giggled some more.

"That Popeye is a weird kid," I said.

Anyway, I thought those were strange commercials to run during children's holiday shows.

"I wonder...what's on...ABC Family?" Colette said.

I changed the channel.

Wow! Look at the Wall!

Since I've been away, we've had our three thousandth member join the Wall! OMZ! Trads, zombies, and I think one werewolf!

In other news, by using a very complex mathematical formula, I have determined that incidents of bullying the undead are down 17.63% percent at Oakvale High (if you would like a copy of my highly scientificalogical study you can post a request here). Differently biotic kids are becoming much more active--no wait that doesn't sound right--they are becoming much more animated--no wait that's not right, either--they are becoming much more involved in school activities. There are a few zombies in the upcoming school play, The Crucible, there is a zombie on the wrestling team, and my pal Melissa (also a zombie) has joined the yearbook committee. Zombies everywhere! And still more coming to the school all the time.

Colette is back at school, did I mention? We already had an adventure! With Phoebe!

Are zombies attending your school? How is that going? What sorts of activities are they doing there?

Coming Soon!

Zombies Are Good at Stuff

Zombies really don't get the credit that they deserve, I have noticed. In fact, i would go so far as to say that there are many, many, many things that zombies do than he differently biotic. When I was helping the newlydead students get used to going to our school, I was often impressed at their hidden undead skill sets. Here is a short (and partial) list of things that I noticed that zombies are way better than us at:

*Sitting still (very, very still)

*Looking like they are paying attention

*Not talking in class

*Not taking unnecessary bathroom breaks

*Waiting patiently in line

*Keeping their hands to themselves

*Not running in the hallways

That's all for me right now. Can you think of any other ways that zombies distinguish themselves at your school? If so, post a comment! And don't forget to sign up on the Wall!

Bye!

Margi

The Zombie Meme Replay

We have lots of new zom--I'm sorry, differently biotic kids here in town, so Phoebe thought that it might be nice if I reposted The Zom--I mean, differently b--no, I don't. I mean the Zombie Meme. Here it is, and anyone new to the Wall is welcome to post your answers here or on Facebook.

The Zombie Meme:

1. How did you die?
2. How long have you been gone?
3. Death age/true age?
4. What do you miss most about being alive?
5. What, if anything, is cool about being a zombie?
6. How did your family react to you coming back?
7. Most humiliating moment as a zombie?
8. Visible signs of zombiism?
9. Goals/ambition?
10. "If I were alive today, I would..."

And here are my answers to The Zombie Meme:

1. How did you die? Um, I didn't. Yet.
2. How long have you been gone? I'm still here but I haven't blogged in awhile!
3. Death age/true age? Sweet sixteen!
4. What do you miss most about being alive? I think I would miss ice cream
5. What, if anything, is cool about being a zombie? The inability to feel pain would be sort of cool
6. How did your family react to you coming back? My family would be mostly OK with me being a zombie. I think.
7. Most humiliating moment as a zombie? I can't imagine anything more humiliating than my last blogs
8. Visible signs of zombiism? There would be none--I am an artiste with makeup
9. Goals/ambition? Sigh. First kiss. A real first kiss. Hopefully while I'm still alive!
10. "If I were alive today, I would..." Be very, very thankful.

See ya!
Margi