Saturday, April 26, 2008

Dead Get to Vote, Living Dead Get Nothing

I saw this article in my home state about how lots of truly dead people are apparently voting each election:

DEAD VOTERS

Meanwhile, I'm legally prohibited from getting my drivers' license. I can't open a bank account. Most lawmakers and educators outside the Oakvale school district are unclear if I should be allowed to attend classes. I can't even get a library card.

Ok, technically I'm not of legal voting age anyway but this kind of thing really makes me paranoid. I sense the dark hand of conspiracy in this one--for "thousands" of dead people to be voting, there has to be some sort of organized effort to make it happen. I picture a parade of white vans rolling up to the polling booths.

Wouldn't it be ironic if all those dead voters who were the ones keeping the anti-zombie politicians in office?

32 comments:

Alannah said...

Dead voters voting for anti-zombie politicians, very ironinc indeed.


Nice blog :)

Tommy Williams said...

Ironic...or insidious?

Thanks for posting,

T

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

its so unfair that u cant get a license
ino how u feel i just learned the driving age might move to 18 right b4 mi birthday

Tommy Williams said...

I miss driving. I had my license about a month before I died and now it is no longer legal for me to drive.

Good luck with getting your license. Obey all traffic safety rules, and remember to buckle up.

Nykii said...

Bah. I hated driving. I always knew it would be the death of me - honestly I think it was a minor phobia... I'm just glad I was the only one that died in that accident.

And that now I have an excuse not to do it. ;)

I think they need to make some programs to re-test for driving ability, though. While many of us obviously aren't recovered enough to be behind-the-wheel, there are some that could drive better than 3/4 of the living teenagers on the road. Maybe soon, Tommy.

Nykii said...

Oh, blah, and I didn't even talk about the voting! I became a legal adult this past December... but, unfortunately, hit my due date not too long afterwards. So no voting for me still. Lame.

We've just got to keep pushing for change. Some of the politicians are on our side and we can rally support for them, until we're given our legal rights to vote.

...but what are these white vans you speak of...?

thisbe_open_your_eyes said...

Dead voters voting for anti-zombie politicians... Well, all politicians are pretty horrible, so it's a lose-lose if you ask me. Catch-22 in the most insidious way possible, my friend.

Anonymous said...

it took people centuries to MOSTLY get over their discriminations against black people, can you imagine how long it will take them to accept the undead? im not saying to give up, but dont expect everyone to be thrilled about your newfound existence on earth and to hand you every right of the living
you will have to work a lot harder for a lot longer to make a breakthrough with these people...this is america for god's sake! when has anything ever been fair here for anyone?

Tommy Williams said...

Well said, anonymous.

The battle has just begun.

T.

Tommy Williams said...

Well said, anonymous.

The battle has just begun.

T.

Anonymous said...

thanks so much tomcat

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

i agree with anonymous
america seems like the ideal country but we have major issues- poverty hunger war and now this whole undead thing
this generation is really gonna have some problems
as soon as im old enough im moving to australia ;)

Tommy Williams said...

No zombies in Australia, from what I understand

forbiddenorange said...

Hmm Australia. Speaking of which, can zombies travel outside of America? Not just in the legal sense (I'm assuming passports went out with library cards), but as this is only happening in America, would it...deactivate if you left its soil?

Just pondering...

Tommy Williams said...

Forbiddenorange--I'm not sure I want to be the one to test your theory.

T.

Elle said...

I'm Canadian. I was wondering if there could be zombies in Canada. The U.S.A. and Canada both share the land we call America. Question goes for Mexico as well. When you say "America" it's questionable wether you're reffering towards the contenent or the U.S.A. which is falsely named "America" quite often. So are there zombies in Canada? I don't see any reason why there wouldn't be I live quite close to the border.


Sincerly
Elle
a real live 13 year old girl

Elle said...

Have you ever seen the movie "Corpse Bride"? Are you even a corpse? I mean if you're walking and talking and aren't rotting I'm not sure if you can fit into the catagory of "corps". I'm not even sure you can fit into the catagory of "DEAD"!!

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

no zombies in australia
just ocelots an bengal tigers an polar bears (oh my!)
ne ways T. ive been wondering... zombies dont grow old an stuff do they? thats kind of cool cuz u will never get old and stuff but its also very sad... one of my main goals in life is to be a grouchy old cat lady on the end of the block... it would be kind of weird if i wasnt like, old an stuff.

forbiddenorange said...

What an interesting goal... But seriously if zombies never...expire, then think of all the information they could accumulate over the years?! In that mindset, zombies would make the best doctors, and teachers, and ultimately form the wisest and most elite of this earth. No wonder the government is scared witless.

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

hey ur rite they could just keep learning forever and theyd never forget becuase theyd never get old(lucky) an if we ever ran into a situation like the one in fahrenhiet 451 they could remmember all the books an rite them down after the war!(btw f.451 is a book yuo read in 10 grade)

Anonymous said...

I think zombies should have the right 2 vote! I mean technically we're people right? I mean falling through a lake and freezing 2 death isnt worth anything if I dont get rights. Tommy keep up the good work and you'll accomplish many things for us zombies!

ILY: Jakobie

Born Librarian said...

Tommy, I'm a librarian up in Alaska. If you want to move up to Anchorage, we'll issue you a library card. Cold doesn't bother you does it?

Anonymous said...

The living dead not getting to vote? Where has this country gone to?
Disappointment around every block...

Luna said...

i wish the polititions would just let zombies have the rights that us living do cuz ya'll are basically alive. i mean, yeah, your TECHNICALLY dead, but if you were caompletely dead, you woudn't be walking around.

Anonymous said...

im actually dead (or living impaired as your story calls it)

Anonymous said...

im actually dead (or living impaired as your story calls it)

follow_the_white_rabbit said...

saying your kind feels wrong in a way too, ......labels are for cans I know but how would one identify them self and others of the same...kind..?
But back to my point what would happen after the laws are passed you cant expect every thing to go like a Disney film...hugging and singing and frolicking together...I think it would be kind of like the no slave thing in America back in the day.. There is no slavery... but it doesn't stop ppl from being prejudice about the colored ppl.
im pro life..no mater if they came back from the dead..they are still something to b thought as a life. so i would gladly vote in your favor....but that wont be for a few more years.:(

Blaine Miaso Inagaki said...

I would suppose that if a 'zombie' (easiest term to use) did vote for an 'anti-zombie' politician, It wouldn't be the fact that it was an 'a-z' politician, but more of a politician that shared some of the same ideas as that 'zombie'

Which is the reason why people *should* vote for who they do. Because if they don't agree with what the politician wishes to do. Then why are they voting for them?

-Blaine M.I.

CandyLiesandFools said...

Srsly...dead people "voting" I had no idea there were polls in the after life...>.>

Anonymous said...

Dead voting and not undead. That just proves how screwed up our government is. Bet thet use the dead peoples votes to vote for them selfs, any one else agree???

Anonymous said...

Dead people vote but the undead can't? That's just stupid, any one else agree?

-KayKat

casey schweigart said...

You actually had your license? I failed the permit test on the first try TT.TT I hope things work out for you, Tommy.