Thursday, May 29, 2008

That Voodoo That You Do

LATEST ZOMBIE CREATION THEORY: Our country has fallen victim to a voodoo curse placed upon it by a disgruntled witch doctor. Why the witch doctor was disgruntled at us, or how we could go about gruntling him/her and get the curse lifted is unclear.

I swear, people aren't even trying to come up with a realistic explanation any more. It seems more and more the "theories" offered are subtle attempts to demonize us--if we are the result of a voodoo curse, we must be evil. If we are harbingers of the end times, we must be evil, etc.

I was talking to Karen the other day and she said we should just come up with equally crazy theories that make happy fluffy associations in people's minds, instead of the dark/monstrous associations that are being made. As an example, she said that we were created when bee pollen fell onto our bodies from honeybees on their way to pretty flowers. This doesn't make any more or less sense than any of the other wacky ideas out there.

BTW, "gruntling" isn't a word, but I wish it was.

45 comments:

hayley said...

what people say is crazy. and you're right. they don't even try to come up with things that COULD make sense. wel... they never really did make sense but w/e

hayley said...

what people say is crazy. and you're right. they don't even try to come up with things that COULD make sense. wel... they never really did make sense but w/e

Leah said...

I say say that when your soul [as you die] floats up or where-ever, clowns are waiting there to great you and they shoot you out of cannons to Heaven or Hell.

And some miss and the "living impaired" or "zombies" come back into their bodies

Naw, just kidding.
But seriously, they need to think of some ACTUAL possibilities. . .
Before some of us start thinking their brains were mixed from microwaved foods

FrozenInsomniac said...

People must be getting even more crazier than they naturally are. I'm not sure if they will ever figure it out considering how dense we can be. Their theories are very amusing though, as is Karen's.

bless_the_fallen said...

yea that is really weird.
i think that you guys came back cuz you were needed. cuz think, if you hadn't, your mom would of been heart broken, losing you AND your dad. =[ but luckily you did come back =]

Elizabeth said...

I will agree with them about the voodoo when i go to the moon lol

DolceBella said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DolceBella said...

maybe people arent really trying to figure out why you guys have come back. maybe they dont really want to know. some things are better off unknown...like what really happened to Elvis! but what if there isnt an earthly reason for your return, i mean it could be something bigger and more important than just some kind of fluke.
i think you should spend more time trying to figure out what youre gonna do now that youre back and less time worrying about how you got back. for all you know you could be sent out just as quickly and only have a little time left here.

Anonymous said...

Haha. The way Karen talks sounds like me.

I'm not even going to put forth a theory - there's so much science that still has to be looked into before anyone (in my opinion) can even make a valid guess as to why you guys are here. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't think this all has to do with science. I'm sure God is involved somehow (no matter what "God" you worship).

But why now? That's what I'm most curious about.

Who knows.

I'm happy I found this - it is fun and interesting to read :).

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

harbinger?

Phoebe said...

Who knows....the government could be behind it. I mean, people blame them all the time for every issue sweeping the nation. But I'm sure that George Bush isn't involved. No way he's smart enough.

-Phoebe<3

Mackenzie said...

hehe gruntling. i like that word. and that is such a stupid theory!!!
what do you think causes "zombie-ness"?

Anonymous said...

this is too crazy!

morgan said...

wow...voodoo it is just so sad how the human imagination is so miniscule that it would say voodoo. i think it might be a good time you guys came back. our world is so prejudice so when you guys "rebirthed" i hope it makes people see the error in their ways

annabel said...

waa!
my friend moved!
she said shes moving to Oxoboxo i think
do you live there?
(that sounded stalkerish...)
by the way...i have a question...
i know that many people (in white vans!!!) wanna kill you...
did they ever hurt any of your friends or you???

Elizabeth said...

Yea have thay ever hurt any of you? and are there any db's on new york? because i have been seeing white van's so if you know if any db's are here tell me besides me

Anonymous said...

ok people are coming up with just stupid theories now. i mean why not just blame it on global worming thats what they blame everything else for. lol.

savannah said...

PERSONALLY I THINK AS A ZOMBIE ITS NO OFFENDING ITS AMUSING !! HOW STUPID PEOPLE CAN BE !!!! ook demon from well that was most deffinetly offending

SAVANNAH said...

I LIVE IN NEW ORLEAN THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS VOODOO

converse_girl93 said...

thats interesting. they could try to make sense once in a while that would be nice. I think that you come back cause you haven't finished what you were supposed to do. Idk thats mi opinion

converse_girl93 said...

it's intresting how they can't think of some logic that would be nice if they included some of that.

Tommy Williams said...

Leah--I hope not, I'm scared of clowns.


dolcebella--Interesting theory.

oOMermaidBubblesOo--HARBINGER:A harbinger is a sign of things to come. Throughout history and literature, harbingers and omens figure prominently, and are responsible for major decisions which have altered the course of both. (From Wikipedia).

Morgan--I agree.

Savannah--I hope you are right. EIther way, I don't think vodoo has anything to do with me.

Annabel--I live very close to the Oxoboxo

converse_girl93--it would be.

T.

allison said...

Perhaps it is the next step of evolution. Due to global warming and polution, the earth may become a hazardous environment for the living in the future. Maybe the body is adapting to these harsh conditions since the dead aren't as susceptible to hazards from increasing holes in the ozone layer, air quality, and viruses.

Something that concerns me more is population control. If the living keep producing and the dead are not dying, this planet will not be able to sustain such a massive population increase.

dorkymeh said...

I cant really say that I have a good or any idea of why we have living impaired but half ideas people have are so unreal its seem embarressing to even say out loud.
I'm also scared of clowns >.<

Tommy Williams said...

Allison--that's a very intriguing theory. I wonder how the beating hearts would feel if we claimed to be a more evolved form of life?

oOMermaidBubblesOo said...

hee hee i think people would get p.o'd if they thought u guys were stronger than them
or mabye they would get scared an start worshipping u like the egyptions worshipped cats!! hmm... maybe thats why cats dont seem to like u...
p.s. thanx 4 the def.!

julie said...

I agree with Allison on the evolution theory. But think about the population. Only teens come back and mostly adults are the ones to die so the population won't increase that much. Or atleast not quickly. Also i like the fact that you guys come back because it makes things interesting. And tommy your a great guy, and done let what other people say about you hurt you. I would love to meet you and befriend you any day. I send my love and blessings to you. Stay well. -julie-

Anna Banana said...

cant the DBs get heart transplants? and not to be weird or anything, but can you all reproduce or is that like not posible?

allison said...

You're right, Tommy. I don't think the breathers would like the dead being hailed as the next evolutionary step. It brings the nasty image of living impaired lab rats being vivisected to determine cause.

Vivisection would be a wrong choice of words, however. Vivi means live in Latin. The dead aren't living. Mortisection, perhaps?

Since it is only happening to teenagers, the clue might be found in the pituitary gland which directs all actions of puberty.

Again, the only way to check this out would be mortisection, which would be ethically wrong. Unfortunately, the dead have no rights and nothing legal would be able to stop such mortisection, would it?

Very disturbing, indeed.

Sarah said...

how could ppl jump 2 conclusions like that?

caitie cats said...

oh if u want gruntlig in a dictionary theres a book called snigglets or sometings its a dictionary of made up words that should be in the dictionary like noob should be in there

Anonymous said...

when did american scientists become so stupid. i mean seriously a vodoo curse! get real or fire those tards!

Em said...

maybe God decided 2 giv a 2nd chance at life?

Luna said...

what idiots. theyre not eben trying anymore. well, they never did, but still. cant they make them more realistic. i mean c'mon. Voodoo? i believe in amgic and all but not voodoo.

Anonymous said...

I personally think that all of the "zombies" are people who were taken before their time and didn't get a chance to fill their purpose in life. I think that they are blessed to come back and that they are beautiful people who the world can't go on without, and for that reason, they were returned to us. I think the DB aren't DB at all, but are the Unforgetably Special, and that we should be thankful for those who return because they return for a reason.

Anonymous said...

I personally think that all of the "zombies" are people who were taken before their time and didn't get a chance to fill their purpose in life. I think that they are blessed to come back and that they are beautiful people who the world can't go on without, and for that reason, they were returned to us. I think the DB aren't DB at all, but are the Unforgetably Special, and that we should be thankful for those who return because they return for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Actually, voodoo was a ritual in some African cults, and is closely related to zombies. The theory still is nonsensical, though.

Bekkieh said...

Gruntling...Gruntling...Gruntling... Ohhh I like your word. I shall steal it and it will be my word ferever and ever

~Bekki♥

Reanimated Death said...

Question for the religious people - Doesnt the dead rising from their grave simple the messiah coming ? "And no death shall befall the people, and the forgotten shall rise up to be amoung the living."
so wouldnt it be a good thing ?
(and i heard zombies come back because of all the rebellion in their souls, Hell rejected them. LOL)

christinesangel100 said...

Yup, I'm here because of a Bumblebee, definitely. That's a cool nonsense theory. :)
They should think of better theories.

Anonymous said...

gruntling should be a word. It's super sounding.

Nicole said...

I think the reason you came back was beacuse we needed you to help us open our eyes to the corrupt way we live and judge people without any reason and without giving them a chance to show that they are nice, caring, loving people and the sooner people start to realize that the sooner their going to get over their hate for the unknown and remember that you were once like them and what happend to you could have happend to THEIR kids or their sister or brother or niece or nephew or god forbid themselves, all these people really have to do it look in the mirror and see that what they are doing is wrong and it's them that should be punished not "zombies" or "diffrently biotic" persons!!!!


plus dead people are awesome and if they lived around where i do that would be sweet it would finally bring life into this boring town :)

CandyLiesandFools said...

Voodoo...thats a dumb....>.> where is the science in that...how about you were just meant to come back...unfinshed buiness...idk >.>

Anonymous said...

Voodoo? That's an insult, my mothers a witch, come on. You came back cause you came back, end of story. Really what are the sinetists smoking and where do I get some, cause I want to see how they found that to be logical.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've got a novel idea of why all of this happens. Teens come back because they come back, nothing more, nothing less, end of storie. Anyone who thinks other wise can test it them selfs but I'm on the side saying that, they're here and that's all that matters. But I love zombies so you guys are safe with me.


-KayKat