LATEST ZOMBIE CREATION THEORY: Our country has fallen victim to a voodoo curse placed upon it by a disgruntled witch doctor. Why the witch doctor was disgruntled at us, or how we could go about gruntling him/her and get the curse lifted is unclear.
I swear, people aren't even trying to come up with a realistic explanation any more. It seems more and more the "theories" offered are subtle attempts to demonize us--if we are the result of a voodoo curse, we must be evil. If we are harbingers of the end times, we must be evil, etc.
I was talking to Karen the other day and she said we should just come up with equally crazy theories that make happy fluffy associations in people's minds, instead of the dark/monstrous associations that are being made. As an example, she said that we were created when bee pollen fell onto our bodies from honeybees on their way to pretty flowers. This doesn't make any more or less sense than any of the other wacky ideas out there.
BTW, "gruntling" isn't a word, but I wish it was.