Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Little Help Here

Um, could one of you get one of your friends to join the Wall? Right now we have a number that Reverend Mathers would have an apocalyptic field day with.

What do you suppose the events would be if there really was an apocalyptic field day? 100 Yard Flaming Dash? High Jump into the Pit? Nine-legged race? Javelin catch?

Sorry. Please get someone to join.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Strength in Numbers

Six hundred and fifty people on the wall...

I received a post to this blog from "anonymous" that suggested that I was basically undermining zombie/trad relations with how I presented information in my blog. Here's a quote:

"By hinting that every mention of zombies in the national media is another example of an anti-zombie conspiracy, and by constantly referring to so-called 'white van abductions'--no proof of which exists--you are actually doing more than just about anyone else to ensure that the living and the dead will not be able to coexist without fear and suspicion."

I get the sense that this post was from a basically well-meaning living person, but one who is truly ignorant as to the amount of very real ("alleged" white van incidents notwithstanding) violence done to nonliving persons daily. I don't have to look any further than my own town for concrete examples of such violence. Even so, I think there is a valuable point here--the line between "raising awareness" and "creating paranoia" may be a thin one.

What do you think?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Location, Location, Location

How hostile to the undead is your hometown? Oakvale is almost schizophrenic; on the one hand we have the Hunter Foundation and Oakvale school, two pro-zombie (at least, the seem pro-zombie) institutions, but on the other hand we've got a very strong undercurrent of bioist bias here.

In your town, is the "zombie phenomenon" well known, or (pardon the pun) underground?

Are people generally supportive of the undead, or hostile?

Are the undead generally permitted to be in public places (the mall, the library, the local bowling alley)?

Are the undead allowed to attend school?

I'm interested for a number of reasons. First, to be able to compile a list of areas that are not hospitable to zombies and steer them away from those areas, and second, to have a similar list for zombies needed to relocate.

Ultimately, it would be great to figure out why the pro-zombie areas are that way.

Any ideas or comments, please send them our way.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Cheers? Jeers

Woody Hates Zombies

So apparently Mr. Harrelson's defense in what will almost certainly be an assault case will be "I thought he was a zombie", the implication being that if the photographer was "only", a zombie, it would be okay to beat him up.

It will be interesting to see how this clearly bioist defense will play out should the case go to court.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

A Numbers Game

I think it is very strange that we can't seem to get even a semi-accurate count of how many undead Americans there are. In the past three months I've seen two news articles that mentioned the zombie population, one of which estimated that there "may be as many as two thousand" zombies in the U.S.", and another which said that the figure was likely to be near ten thousand!

Quite a difference. What I'm wondering is, why such a discrepancy? Obviously, there are some factors that make an accurate count difficult--one being that in many states being undead is criminalized to the point where zombies need to go into hiding, and another would be that zombies are quite often destroyed within days after returning.

I'm wondering if this lack of accuracy with regards to a zombie census is a way for certain interests to keep the zombie community destabilized.

What do you think?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Message to the Horde

We are now six hundred strong--and so now it is time to strike! Arise! Arise, my undead brothers and sisters! Arise and FEAST on the FLESH of the LIVING! AH HA HA HA HAR ARGH NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM...

Just kidding. Honestly, after dying even having a hamburger sounds kind of gross, never mind "the flesh of the living". Yuck. I don't even know why I wrote that, I'm in a very strange mood lately. You know when you feel as though everything has changed, and yet, nothing has? Me, neither. I don't know what I'm talking about right now. I apologize in advance to all the trad folk on the Wall and here as visitors. I didn't mean to scare you or freak you out. Just having a little April Fool's fun.

But, on a serious note--six hundred! And it isn't just The Wall that is growing--we've had more permanent guests here at the Haunted House in the past week than we had in the first few months after we moved to Oakvale. The "official reports" say that there are less than two-thousand of us, but I think those numbers might be considerably off.

Like I wrote the other day...I'm feeling that it is time for a change. Many changes, even.