Ho Ho Ho

Return of the Dearly Departed?

Back From the Grave?

Happy Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, so I thought I would wish you all, zombie and trad alike, a happy one. I hope that you have a happy one filled with mushy cards, flowers, and free candy. Especially free candy. Last year some trad kid gave Karen a box of candy, which I guess was really sweet of him but, guess what? Zombies don't eat, brainiac! Karen did eat one, though, before giving me the rest of the box which I very greedily devoured barely sharing any because I can be that way sometimes. I did ask Karen the next day if she wanted another one (I had a few left, and I suspected that they were pretty much all those chewy chocolate covered caramel ones, yuck) but she declined and then did some Jedi mind trick where she told me exactly how many I ate and what order I ate them in. Spoooky! But we miss yoooouuuu, Karen! Where are you? When ya coming home? Anyhow, she didn't have any more of the chocolates and I wondered if giving a zombie a chocolate was like giving a dog a chocolate but that really isn't a good thing to speculate about, omz!

I do not have a special sweetie (sob) but that does not mean my heart is not filled with love. Some of the nastier, meaner zombies (yes, I'm talking to you, Popeye) call us beating hearts as some sort of insult, but I actually think it is kind of a nice thing to be called. They like being called zombies, so go figure.

Anyhow, a certain zombie believes that love is the answer to making dead hearts beat again. I look forward to the day when that happens, for everyone. Maybe tomorrow!

Housekeeping

We've had a number of new people put themselves on the Wall--the horde is 750 strong!--so I thought I'd do a little updating for the newbies and newlydeads.

I'm Tommy Williams, this is my blog. I try to write about things that are happening in the zombie community. You can click onto the wall in the link at the right and join the virtual Wall, which is open to traditionally biotic and differently biotic people alike.

Every so often either Phoebe or Karen will write a guest blog. Come to think of it, neither has written here for awhile so I'll bug them.

I'm going to be taking a trip across America soon, and am looking for place to visit--if you think that your town would be a good place to check out, either because it is hospitable or hostile to zombies, let me know. Post to the blog and let me know where, and whether you think the town is pro or con zombie. Pro con zombie is not a delicious dip that tastes great with tortilla chips; that would be chili con carne.

Thanks to Lily Benan for suggesting a visit to Charleston, S.C. She, like the other nine people whose towns are chosen, will be sent a wristband from the Skip Slydell collection. So far I'll be going to Charleston, New Orleans and Memphis.

Stay whole,

T.

Holiday Report

Faith and I went to the Haunted House on Christmas morning after exchanging presents. She bought me a nice pair of hiking boots and some other hiking gear and clothes; I went with an "all living" Christmas theme this year, giving her two potted plants, a cactus, and a hermit crab in a tank. Have you ever tried to wrap a cactus?

Karen and Margi made it over to the HH, but neither Adam or any of our other beating heart friends were able to come, which is too bad because we had a blast. The zombies had decorated a tree outside because they didn't want to cut one down for the inside. There were some decorations inside, and even Popeye got into the spirit by walking around wearing some ornaments. I won't tell you what he did with the hooks, though. Mal played Santa, wearing a hat and beard that Karen had picked up for him. Pretty much everyone from the HH community was there except for Tak.

The kids were pretty enthused about the gifts (no hovercraft as I mentioned, and we decided against the television and video games in the end), especially the art supplies. But you know what ended up being the hit gift of the whole event? Something that Karen (who swears she doesn't have a creative bone in her body) picked up: a spice rack.

Yes, a spice rack. The idea, she said, was that we could all use it to "practice" our sense of smell. How we're supposed to practice a sense I don't quite understand, but it was pretty interesting to everyone to discover that almost everyone could recognize cinnamon. I ended up being able to identify six of the seven spices on the rack, losing only to Karen, who edged me out of first place by correctly identifying turmeric. Turmeric? I don't think I could get that one right if I was alive, even.

"The sense of smell is our sense most connected with memory," Karen told everyone. This led to a number of people sharing cinnamon-infused memories of holiday's past, back when they were with their families, back when they were alive. It was a little nostalgic, a little sad, a little hilarious and mostly happy and heart-warming, the way all the best recollections are.

I thought I saw Tak drifting through the woods like a shadow when Faith and I were headed to the car to leave, but if it was him, he didn't answer when I called.

Halloween Recap

I just have to say that Karen was an exceptional Jeannie. And Phoebe was stunning as a flapper. I wanted to reread The Great Gatsby while listening to the Squirrel Nut Zippers after seeing her.

I didn't dress up, but I did hand out two Snickers bars to kids that trick or treated at the trailer park where I live. They're nice kids.

We had a little gathering at the Haunted House--we didn't get any Trick or Treaters, but Margi and Phoebe stopped by after driving Kevin and Karen around to look at the little kids going around Oakvale Manor.

Did I mention that Margi has her drivers' license? There, I just told you a horror story. Who says I don't have any Halloween spirit?

T.

Detained!

Hello!

Tommy is letting me take the blog today. He's off studying (and for those that care, he got a 97 on the History test that Gamera tried to help him fail). He's such a smartie--I can't say that all the extra time I get with not sleeping has improved my study habits at all. I'm B minus all the way.

I manage to keep things interesting, though. On Friday on was given a detention by Principal Kim because the length of my skirt violated some arcane dress code policy. I tried to point out that my skirt was no shorter than those worn by the Oakvale High cheerleading squad, but that didn't get me anywhere. Then I told the principal that I was proud of her for not going easy on me because I was a zombie, that her universal and non-prejudicial application of stupid, outdated rules was to be commended.

She told me I better zip my lip and get to my next class if I didn't want her to double the detention.

Oh well. Time, I've got.

Stranger Than Fiction

You know what one of the Top Ten things that many zombies list as being one of the things they miss most about life? Right after family, friends, pets, food,sleep or their favorite hobby?

School.

Karen and I are two of the lucky ones, who have parents that insist we keep going to school. Many zombies that don't have a parent or legal guardian either can't get to school or aren't allowed to attend, and many school systems across the country don't allow any zombie students.

Of course, I wasn't feeling like one of the lucky ones yesterday after someone put a sign on my back. Instead of the traditional "Kick Me" it said "Kill Me". And instead of the traditional tape, whoever hung the sign used a thumbtack. I didn't feel it.

Mrs. Rodriguez was kind enough to remove the tack for me.

Don't get me wrong, though. Overall, I like school.

Tak's Meme

Hi, sweeties! Karen DeSonne, girl reporter here! I wanted to bring you Tak's Meme today, and I thought he'd play nice because his "old school" bff's Popeye and Tayshawn gave theirs. Here is a fairly accurate transcript of my interview with him, which I conducted on the rotting porch of the Haunted House.

Karen: "Hi, Tak!"

Tak: (Stares, half his face hidden by his beautiful long black hair)

Karen: "Do you mind answering a few questions for the zombie meme? We just put Tayshawn's up at mysocalledundeath."

Tak: (Stares some more, cracks knuckles)

Karen: "Okay, then. Let's get started, shall we? Question number one: How did you die?

Tak: (Flips hair back, revealing hole in cheek, molars) "I was...never...alive."

Karen: (Taps pen, tilts chin, smiles prettily) "Now, be nice, Takky. I happen to know that you were killed riding your motorcycle on the Garden State Parkway. You told me yourself in an ungaurded moment!"

Tak: (Turns away, makes noise like piece of paper caught in electric fan)

Karen: (Flutters long lashes) "Okay, let's try this one: How long have you been a zombie?"

Tak: (Hides scars with hair-flip, looks away)

Karen: (Sparkly eyes narrowing) "Let me try that again. How...long...have...you been...a...zombie?"

Tak: "Why are you...pandering...to the...beating hearts, anyway?"

Karen: "We aren't 'pandering' to anyone, we're trying to raise consciousness and..."

Tak: (Gives dismissive wave, jumps off porch, walks towards woods)

Karen: (Shouting) "So I guess the interview is over, then?"

There it is, kiddies! The deepest, darkest secrets of that cutie, our very own teen heartthrob, Takayuki!

(P.S.: Sarcasm aside, Tak really isn't such a bad guy once you get to know him. He'll never win a merit badge in Plays Well WIth Others, tho. Bye!)

Karen's Meme

1. How did you die? I'd rather not say

2. How long have you been gone? 2 years

3. Death age/true age? 16/18

4. What do you miss most about being alive? Sensation and unconditional love. I also wish my sister Caitlyn had been born when I was still alive so that I'd know what it really felt like to hold her.

5. What, if anything, is cool about being a zombie? Don't have to sleep, don't have to diet.

6. How did your family react to you coming back? They didn't kick me out, which is something. I think they were more hurt about the way I died than me coming back.
My father seems to be "coming around" a bit more than Mom and treats me as though I were human. Almost.
Caitlyn was born about nine months after I died. I suppose that is a reaction, of sorts!

7. Most humiliating moment as a zombie? See above. Also I have to live in the basement even though there is an extra bedroom upstairs. Oh well, at least the basement is furnished!

8. Visible signs of zombiism? My skeery skeery eyes, which I'm told look like diamonds, and my pale skin and bleach blonde hair.

9. Goals/ambition? To live--really live--again!

10. "If I were alive today, I would..." Not do what I did.