Merry merry merry Christmas, everyone! I found Colette's very zombie Christmas list! It's pretty weird. She's been naughty all year so I don't think Santa will be delivering:
*A set of electric traaaaains
*Bread made of whole graaaaains
*A pair of Great Daaaaaaaanes
*A box of candy caaaaaanes
*An umbrella to stay dry when it raaaaaains
*Aspirin to cure all her paaaaains
*Oxiclean to remove stubborn staaaaaains
*Drano to clear clogged draaaaains
*And of course, the thing a zombie like her needs the most, braaaaaaaains! Braaaaaaaains!
Hee Hee! She hates when I do that. Actually she wasn't naughty at all and so I bought her a scarf. A pink scarf and maybe she will let me borrow it.
And what did You get from the jolly old elf this year?
Showing posts with label Colette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colette. Show all posts
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
TV with Margi V
Watching television the other day with Colette because we are mad for Christmas specials. Rudolph, Frosty, Mr. Heat Miser, Abominable, and all of the other horrific Yuletide creatures. We were watching some festive show or other when, during a commercial break, we saw an advertisement for a video game filled with murder and face punching. Maybe there was a little mayhem, too. I don't really remember. Then there was another commercial for yet another video game.
This one was called Zombie Summer Camp.
The basic premise, or so I gathered, was that you are a ten year old kid named Jimmy who is sent away to Camp Attawaugan for summer vacation, and sometime during your first night away from home zombies invade the camp and start eating all the kids, some of whom return from the dead and try to eat you.
Onscreen we watched as Little Jimmy rammed a skewer with a flaming marshmallow on the end through the chest of an attacking zombie, driving the rotter back into the campfire.
I was about to make comment condemning the game when I realized that Colette was making that snorty snuffling noise that meant she was laughing.
"You think this is funny?
On screen, Jimmy was fending off three zombie cub scouts with a canoe paddle.
"Yes," she said. "I...do."
In the last sequence, Jimmy whipped a live squirrel at a dead camp counselor. We both started laughing then.
"Popeye...loves...this game," she said.
"Get out."
"Seriously. His favorite...weapon...is the...tent...spikes."
"He kills zombies? In the game?"
"He says it...is...cathartic."
I giggled some more.
"That Popeye is a weird kid," I said.
Anyway, I thought those were strange commercials to run during children's holiday shows.
"I wonder...what's on...ABC Family?" Colette said.
I changed the channel.
This one was called Zombie Summer Camp.
The basic premise, or so I gathered, was that you are a ten year old kid named Jimmy who is sent away to Camp Attawaugan for summer vacation, and sometime during your first night away from home zombies invade the camp and start eating all the kids, some of whom return from the dead and try to eat you.
Onscreen we watched as Little Jimmy rammed a skewer with a flaming marshmallow on the end through the chest of an attacking zombie, driving the rotter back into the campfire.
I was about to make comment condemning the game when I realized that Colette was making that snorty snuffling noise that meant she was laughing.
"You think this is funny?
On screen, Jimmy was fending off three zombie cub scouts with a canoe paddle.
"Yes," she said. "I...do."
In the last sequence, Jimmy whipped a live squirrel at a dead camp counselor. We both started laughing then.
"Popeye...loves...this game," she said.
"Get out."
"Seriously. His favorite...weapon...is the...tent...spikes."
"He kills zombies? In the game?"
"He says it...is...cathartic."
I giggled some more.
"That Popeye is a weird kid," I said.
Anyway, I thought those were strange commercials to run during children's holiday shows.
"I wonder...what's on...ABC Family?" Colette said.
I changed the channel.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Wow! Look at the Wall!
Since I've been away, we've had our three thousandth member join the Wall! OMZ! Trads, zombies, and I think one werewolf!
In other news, by using a very complex mathematical formula, I have determined that incidents of bullying the undead are down 17.63% percent at Oakvale High (if you would like a copy of my highly scientificalogical study you can post a request here). Differently biotic kids are becoming much more active--no wait that doesn't sound right--they are becoming much more animated--no wait that's not right, either--they are becoming much more involved in school activities. There are a few zombies in the upcoming school play, The Crucible, there is a zombie on the wrestling team, and my pal Melissa (also a zombie) has joined the yearbook committee. Zombies everywhere! And still more coming to the school all the time.
Colette is back at school, did I mention? We already had an adventure! With Phoebe!
Are zombies attending your school? How is that going? What sorts of activities are they doing there?
In other news, by using a very complex mathematical formula, I have determined that incidents of bullying the undead are down 17.63% percent at Oakvale High (if you would like a copy of my highly scientificalogical study you can post a request here). Differently biotic kids are becoming much more active--no wait that doesn't sound right--they are becoming much more animated--no wait that's not right, either--they are becoming much more involved in school activities. There are a few zombies in the upcoming school play, The Crucible, there is a zombie on the wrestling team, and my pal Melissa (also a zombie) has joined the yearbook committee. Zombies everywhere! And still more coming to the school all the time.
Colette is back at school, did I mention? We already had an adventure! With Phoebe!
Are zombies attending your school? How is that going? What sorts of activities are they doing there?
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Mystery Solved
So then Colette asks me if I liked the valentine she gave me.
"What valentine?" I ask.
"You know," she says. "The one with the kitties."
This after I have already embarrassed myself with all three of my suspects. This after have already called the girl Watson to my Holmes.
"Colette," I say. "do you mean the valentine that I have spent the past two weeks trying to discover who it came from? That one?"
Colette looked confused. "You didn't know that was from me? I thought you'd gotten a mystery valentine and that's what we were trying to find. I thought you recognized the kitty one."
"Recognize it?" I said. "what do you mean recognize it? That wasn't your handwriting."
"I know," she says. "It's yours."
"What?
"You gave me that card when we were in first grade."
I took the card out of my bag. Yes I have been carrying it around all the time so shut up. The written words were wobbly but I guess that could have been my handwriting back then. And the "Margi" I guess could have been a signature rather than a greeting. And I guess I have always liked kitties.
But then ni reverted quickly to Sherlock Vachon mode, all suspicious-like.
"Wait just a minute," I said. "How did you get this, then?"
See, when Colette died and came back her parents literally chased her off of her front lawn with garden implements and wouldn't let her return. And then they moved away and didn't tell her where they were going.
"My brother," she said, and she was smiling. "He's back from the war. He found some of my things in the basement of my parents' new home and sent them to me."
"Your brother? How did he find you?"
"He saw my photo on the Virual Wall of the Dead," she said. He never believed them when they told him I didn't come back.". She sort of laughed. "Margi, he's going to come see me."
I shrieked right there in the hallway and hugged her because I was so happy for her. And because her brother is kind of hot, at let he was a few years ago when he left for his service. I was so happy I didn't even mind that I didn't really have a secret admirer and that nobody loves me and I am destined to die a lonely old spinster with a dozen cats.
Ok maybe I was a little disappointed. But mostly I was just happy for my friend.
"What valentine?" I ask.
"You know," she says. "The one with the kitties."
This after I have already embarrassed myself with all three of my suspects. This after have already called the girl Watson to my Holmes.
"Colette," I say. "do you mean the valentine that I have spent the past two weeks trying to discover who it came from? That one?"
Colette looked confused. "You didn't know that was from me? I thought you'd gotten a mystery valentine and that's what we were trying to find. I thought you recognized the kitty one."
"Recognize it?" I said. "what do you mean recognize it? That wasn't your handwriting."
"I know," she says. "It's yours."
"What?
"You gave me that card when we were in first grade."
I took the card out of my bag. Yes I have been carrying it around all the time so shut up. The written words were wobbly but I guess that could have been my handwriting back then. And the "Margi" I guess could have been a signature rather than a greeting. And I guess I have always liked kitties.
But then ni reverted quickly to Sherlock Vachon mode, all suspicious-like.
"Wait just a minute," I said. "How did you get this, then?"
See, when Colette died and came back her parents literally chased her off of her front lawn with garden implements and wouldn't let her return. And then they moved away and didn't tell her where they were going.
"My brother," she said, and she was smiling. "He's back from the war. He found some of my things in the basement of my parents' new home and sent them to me."
"Your brother? How did he find you?"
"He saw my photo on the Virual Wall of the Dead," she said. He never believed them when they told him I didn't come back.". She sort of laughed. "Margi, he's going to come see me."
I shrieked right there in the hallway and hugged her because I was so happy for her. And because her brother is kind of hot, at let he was a few years ago when he left for his service. I was so happy I didn't even mind that I didn't really have a secret admirer and that nobody loves me and I am destined to die a lonely old spinster with a dozen cats.
Ok maybe I was a little disappointed. But mostly I was just happy for my friend.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Mysteries Among Mysteries
Okay, so my "Secret Admirer" wasn't Luis.
How do I know? you may well ask. Well, I used all of my considerable powers of deduction, espionage, observation, and detection. And plus I asked him why he put the card with the kitties on it in my locker.
"What...card?" he said.
The problem with differently biotic people--okay, problem is the wrong word, if Phoebe bothered to edit my entries any more she'd slap my wrist for suggesting that anything about the poor dead dears was problematical--what I meant to say was one of the many unique and endearing distinguishing characteristics of differently biotic people is that it is nearly impossible to tell when they are lying. They don't blush. Their eyes don't twitch up and to the left, they don't shake, and you can't tell if there is an additional quaver in their voice. All of which adds up to me not really being able to tell when they are lying. And they do lie. Colette Marie Beauvoir especially is always telling lies. I know you stole my pink socks, Colette! Confess! Confess!
But Luis wasn't lying. I didn't need telepathetic powers to tell me that.
"With...kitties?" he said.
"Never mind," I said.
So now my attention turns to the other new kids, Travis and Eric. This time I will need to be more cunning, more subtle. A direct question wouldn't work with Eric or Travis; Eric would get scared, Travis would make jokes. I'll have to bide my time...
But what if it isn't one of them, as I originally thought? What if the card is a joke, as some of you suggested, or what if it isn't from a secret admirer at all but a secret creeper? Brrrr.
By the way, it isn't from Norm. Don't ask me how I know. I just do.
BTW and OMZ, after I asked about the card, Luis said he "liked me". Bells rang. School bells, not wedding bells of course, so he didn't really have time to elaborate.
How do I know? you may well ask. Well, I used all of my considerable powers of deduction, espionage, observation, and detection. And plus I asked him why he put the card with the kitties on it in my locker.
"What...card?" he said.
The problem with differently biotic people--okay, problem is the wrong word, if Phoebe bothered to edit my entries any more she'd slap my wrist for suggesting that anything about the poor dead dears was problematical--what I meant to say was one of the many unique and endearing distinguishing characteristics of differently biotic people is that it is nearly impossible to tell when they are lying. They don't blush. Their eyes don't twitch up and to the left, they don't shake, and you can't tell if there is an additional quaver in their voice. All of which adds up to me not really being able to tell when they are lying. And they do lie. Colette Marie Beauvoir especially is always telling lies. I know you stole my pink socks, Colette! Confess! Confess!
But Luis wasn't lying. I didn't need telepathetic powers to tell me that.
"With...kitties?" he said.
"Never mind," I said.
So now my attention turns to the other new kids, Travis and Eric. This time I will need to be more cunning, more subtle. A direct question wouldn't work with Eric or Travis; Eric would get scared, Travis would make jokes. I'll have to bide my time...
But what if it isn't one of them, as I originally thought? What if the card is a joke, as some of you suggested, or what if it isn't from a secret admirer at all but a secret creeper? Brrrr.
By the way, it isn't from Norm. Don't ask me how I know. I just do.
BTW and OMZ, after I asked about the card, Luis said he "liked me". Bells rang. School bells, not wedding bells of course, so he didn't really have time to elaborate.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Margi Interviews DeCayce
Hello--I'm turning MSCU over to Margi this week for her interview with DeCayce! Hope you enjoy it!
--Phoebe
Hi this is Margi Vachon and I am sitting with DeCayce, the lead singer of Skeleton Crew. If you aren’t familiar with Skeleton Crew—and why would you be, because it isn’t like you can buy their CD in a store or anything—they are a punk band from New Jersey that is unique because they have a zombie lead singer. DeCayce the zombie and this is my interview with him.
Margie: Hi, DeCayce
DeCayce: Hi, Margi
(Note: DeCayce has a lot of pauses in his speech but I’m not going to try and type those out or anything. It is hard enough trying to type along with this stupid recorder. Sometimes I think the pauses are because he’s a zombie and sometimes I think it is just because he thinks a lot before he says anything)
Margi: So is DeCayce your real name?
DeCayce: Sort of my. My real name is Casey Dimello. So, Casey D. D. Casey.
Margi: Well plus that’s like a cool name because it is like a pun about zombies. You know, like ‘decay’.
DeCayce: Oh, you caught that?
Margi: So anyway, you’ve been in Skeleton Crew for how long?
DeCayce: Since about a month after I died.
Margi: Seriously?
DeCayce: Yes. Before I died the band we were in was called The Polynesian Gods of Southern New Jersey.
Margi: What?
DeCayce: We were a surf band.
Margi: You were in a different band with the same guys? Before you died?DeCayce: Yes.
Margi: That’s so cool! How did you die?
DeCayce: I leaped to my death from a hotel balcony tower while shouting “I am a golden god.”
Margi: No way. Really?
DeCayce: No.
Margi: Come on, how did you die?
DeCayce: I prefer not to say.
Margi: Fine, be that way. Well, were you always the singer for the band?
DeCayce: Yes. When I was alive I also played guitar, but it is very difficult for me to move my fingers fast enough on the frets now. But I am relearning.
Margi: Wow. That’s kind of sad.
DeCayce: Yes. It is.
Margi: I heard that you write a lot of the songs.
DeCayce: Yes. I write most of the lyrics. We all help write the music.
Margi: What about I’m Only Dead on the Outside? Did you write that one?
DeCayce: Yes
Margi: What about Differently Biotic, Differently Neurotic?
DeCayce: Yes. The lyrics.
Margi: Living is Like Dying? Lost the Plot?
DeCayce: Yes. And yes.
Margi: Across the Universe ?
DeCayce: No.
Margi: Hah! Just kidding. That was Fiona Apple.
DeCayce: Actually, it was—
Margi: I know who it is dummy I’m just kidding you. So, do you have any wild stories about being on the road?
DeCayce: You mean like when bioist jerks throw bottles at me?
Margi: I was thinking like whether or not you have groupies. Other than Colette.
DeCayce: Colette isn't a groupie. She's my soul mate.
Margi: Ew, whatever.
DeCayce: I wouldn’t call them groupies, but we have some fans, I guess.
Margi: Do you have more dead ones, you think, or living ones?
DeCayce: Hard to say, because sometimes it is hard for differently biotic people to get to the shows. I’m glad we have so many traditionally biotic people cheering us on.
Margi: Lots of girls think you are really hot. Which I think is pretty weird.
DeCayce: Yeah. Thanks for that.
Margi: Even beating hearts. You guys are pretty good, though.
DeCayce: Thank you.
Margi: Not as good as the Misfits were, though. Or The Damned.
DeCayce: Well, those are great bands. Legends.
Margi: Or the Others. Or Blitzkid, or Son of Sam.
DeCayce: Those are some great bands, too.
Margi: Or. Michale Graves. Or the Morgue Staff Rejects. My Chemical Romance. Paramore.
DeCayce: Ok, I get it.
Margi: Green Day. You aren’t bad, though. For a local band. Buckcherry.
DeCayce: Yeah, thanks.
Margi: So what’s next for Skeleton Crew?
DeCayce: More practice, apparently.
Margi: Come on! Don't be so sensitive!
DeCayce: Well, we’re thinking about recording a CD once we have enough money to get the studio time. I’m not sure if we’ll do it as a digital download or what.
Margi: Any new songs? Or the same old stuff I’ve heard you play at your last three shows?
DeCayce: We’ve got a new song that Dominic wrote. It is called “Karen”.
Margi: No way.
DeCayce: Way. We’re not sure what we’re going to call the album, though. We’re thinking either “Love Never Dies” or “Generation Dead”.
Margi: Go with the first one. The second will never fly.
DeCayce: Yeah, thanks for your always trenchant commentary.
Margi: No problem. Just make sure you thank me in the liner notes.
That’s all for today, everyone! This is Margi Vachon, intrepid girl reporter, signing off! Skeleton is on tour right now playing all ages shows anywhere that will have them! Check local club listings!
--Phoebe
Hi this is Margi Vachon and I am sitting with DeCayce, the lead singer of Skeleton Crew. If you aren’t familiar with Skeleton Crew—and why would you be, because it isn’t like you can buy their CD in a store or anything—they are a punk band from New Jersey that is unique because they have a zombie lead singer. DeCayce the zombie and this is my interview with him.
Margie: Hi, DeCayce
DeCayce: Hi, Margi
(Note: DeCayce has a lot of pauses in his speech but I’m not going to try and type those out or anything. It is hard enough trying to type along with this stupid recorder. Sometimes I think the pauses are because he’s a zombie and sometimes I think it is just because he thinks a lot before he says anything)
Margi: So is DeCayce your real name?
DeCayce: Sort of my. My real name is Casey Dimello. So, Casey D. D. Casey.
Margi: Well plus that’s like a cool name because it is like a pun about zombies. You know, like ‘decay’.
DeCayce: Oh, you caught that?
Margi: So anyway, you’ve been in Skeleton Crew for how long?
DeCayce: Since about a month after I died.
Margi: Seriously?
DeCayce: Yes. Before I died the band we were in was called The Polynesian Gods of Southern New Jersey.
Margi: What?
DeCayce: We were a surf band.
Margi: You were in a different band with the same guys? Before you died?DeCayce: Yes.
Margi: That’s so cool! How did you die?
DeCayce: I leaped to my death from a hotel balcony tower while shouting “I am a golden god.”
Margi: No way. Really?
DeCayce: No.
Margi: Come on, how did you die?
DeCayce: I prefer not to say.
Margi: Fine, be that way. Well, were you always the singer for the band?
DeCayce: Yes. When I was alive I also played guitar, but it is very difficult for me to move my fingers fast enough on the frets now. But I am relearning.
Margi: Wow. That’s kind of sad.
DeCayce: Yes. It is.
Margi: I heard that you write a lot of the songs.
DeCayce: Yes. I write most of the lyrics. We all help write the music.
Margi: What about I’m Only Dead on the Outside? Did you write that one?
DeCayce: Yes
Margi: What about Differently Biotic, Differently Neurotic?
DeCayce: Yes. The lyrics.
Margi: Living is Like Dying? Lost the Plot?
DeCayce: Yes. And yes.
Margi: Across the Universe ?
DeCayce: No.
Margi: Hah! Just kidding. That was Fiona Apple.
DeCayce: Actually, it was—
Margi: I know who it is dummy I’m just kidding you. So, do you have any wild stories about being on the road?
DeCayce: You mean like when bioist jerks throw bottles at me?
Margi: I was thinking like whether or not you have groupies. Other than Colette.
DeCayce: Colette isn't a groupie. She's my soul mate.
Margi: Ew, whatever.
DeCayce: I wouldn’t call them groupies, but we have some fans, I guess.
Margi: Do you have more dead ones, you think, or living ones?
DeCayce: Hard to say, because sometimes it is hard for differently biotic people to get to the shows. I’m glad we have so many traditionally biotic people cheering us on.
Margi: Lots of girls think you are really hot. Which I think is pretty weird.
DeCayce: Yeah. Thanks for that.
Margi: Even beating hearts. You guys are pretty good, though.
DeCayce: Thank you.
Margi: Not as good as the Misfits were, though. Or The Damned.
DeCayce: Well, those are great bands. Legends.
Margi: Or the Others. Or Blitzkid, or Son of Sam.
DeCayce: Those are some great bands, too.
Margi: Or. Michale Graves. Or the Morgue Staff Rejects. My Chemical Romance. Paramore.
DeCayce: Ok, I get it.
Margi: Green Day. You aren’t bad, though. For a local band. Buckcherry.
DeCayce: Yeah, thanks.
Margi: So what’s next for Skeleton Crew?
DeCayce: More practice, apparently.
Margi: Come on! Don't be so sensitive!
DeCayce: Well, we’re thinking about recording a CD once we have enough money to get the studio time. I’m not sure if we’ll do it as a digital download or what.
Margi: Any new songs? Or the same old stuff I’ve heard you play at your last three shows?
DeCayce: We’ve got a new song that Dominic wrote. It is called “Karen”.
Margi: No way.
DeCayce: Way. We’re not sure what we’re going to call the album, though. We’re thinking either “Love Never Dies” or “Generation Dead”.
Margi: Go with the first one. The second will never fly.
DeCayce: Yeah, thanks for your always trenchant commentary.
Margi: No problem. Just make sure you thank me in the liner notes.
That’s all for today, everyone! This is Margi Vachon, intrepid girl reporter, signing off! Skeleton is on tour right now playing all ages shows anywhere that will have them! Check local club listings!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
We Are Now Experiencing Technical Difficulties
If you tried to post this week, you might have noticed that your posts did not take right away. I think that anti-zombie hackers are responsible.
Some of the posts that you made appear under my name because that was the only way I could rescue them from the hackers. Sorry for any convenience.
Mal and Colette, BTW, thank you all for the outpouring of support. Your posts have caused a number of the Haunted House crew to do memes which Phoebe and Karen will get to me for posting in the near future.
Plus, it is great so many of you from around the country are contributing your stories as well.
Some of the posts that you made appear under my name because that was the only way I could rescue them from the hackers. Sorry for any convenience.
Mal and Colette, BTW, thank you all for the outpouring of support. Your posts have caused a number of the Haunted House crew to do memes which Phoebe and Karen will get to me for posting in the near future.
Plus, it is great so many of you from around the country are contributing your stories as well.
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